I had been thinking, a lot, about the things I say/write and how many of those I actually implement in my own life. And It’s definitely not an easy task to change the behavior patterns we have learnt over the years.
I feel that monks have it easy. They do not have to interact much with other people and have no relationships that evoke and test your feelings of greed, anger, desire, attachment and ego – the infamous five attributes. It is exceptional when someone conquers these while living a worldly life.
Usually, I dont share personal stories but I feel like sharing a recent incident where I had to drive for 90 minutes with my 7 year old son, to have him see a doctor. This was the road that usually takes 40 minutes but because of morning rush hour traffic it took us much longer to reach there. I did call their office informing them of the traffic situation and they said that doctor would still be able to see us.
But that didn’t happen when we reached there. Anger and resentment started bubbling up. I watched how my mind started making stories about what a failure I was for not reaching on time for my kid’s doctor appointment, what a waste of time the whole trip was, I should have asked my husband to drive him and so on. But when I observed those thoughts as the watcher and focused on the feelings in my body, they dissipated slowly. By the time I sat back in the car, I was over it. On the positive side, my son was very happy that it happened that way. We joked about the whole thing on our way back😍.
It feels great to be a work in progress, physically and mentally. Mind part is harder but like Marcus Aurelius said:
Keep working on yourself!