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Selfish or selfless

JJ

This is a dilemma for many people, including me. When you take time out for yourself, are you being selfish? How could you think about going for a long run when there are million things to be done at home! You could instead be spending that time with your family, or for work or for social work.

And then, on the contrary, there is innate need to do something selfless, something bigger than your own selves, a desire to make positive impact on the world. But we all get stuck on the “how”. Or we end up thinking that this is the work of a very few chosen ones, so why even bother trying.

I have come to realize that both of these are so intertwined. If taking care of yourself is selfish, be unapologetic-ally selfish. It is your biggest responsibility to care for your physical and mental health. When you see that your own life is meaningful, worth living for, you can value the lives of others. In order to help the world, help yourself first. In order to understand the world, understand yourself first – not an easy task by any means.

Tune into the conciousness behind the ego, behind the brain, behind the definitions given to you by other people. Question the things, beliefs, your own opinions that do not make sense, as sometimes unlearning is the beginning of learning. Disagree with an open heart. There is a possibility that you are wrong. Meditate and watch your thoughts. Make it a habit to pause before you react to situations. You will learn to respond appropriately.

Understand that we all share the same fate, here on earth, of birth and death, joy and pain. We have more in common than what is different. When we have that light in our hearts, we can easily lit the path for others. Our actions automatically come from a deeper place, a place closer to god. Yes, I said G word with ease now, because I feel that I am finding the answers to my questions. Cheers!

Published by JJ

I have been wondering about meaning of life, spirituality, relationships and love for quite some time, like many other folks who feel that something is missing in their life, even when all their basic needs are met. Working 9-5 IT job, taking care of my little boy and providing for the family was all that i have been doing for the last 7 years. Even though it is rewarding, there is a feeling of emptiness that is hard to explain. Questions like why am i doing what i am doing, what is the purpose of life bother me from time to time. Here’s to looking for these answers in this beautiful journey of life, Cheers!

32 thoughts on “Selfish or selfless”

  1. For me personally, whether I stay close or far away from the big G, I am still being selfish. That eliminates a lot of unnecessary worries from being judged by others and by the big G

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    1. Thanks Jiangsha for the read. We are all selfish to varying degrees and that’s okay. If there is any purpose to our lives, it definitely wouldn’t include worrying about what others say about us. People can’t be pleased and it’s best to stop even trying.

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      1. Yes Jyot all of us are selfish. But there are two kinds of selfishness: being stupidly selfish or being intelligently selfish 😊😇
        And if we are intelligently selfish we have the possibility of becoming selfless …
        Love and blessings 💕🤗

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      6. 😍, it seems it is still relevant then. Also i think even though the world changes, the basic human issues remain the same. Thank you both for the feedback!

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      7. True Jyot. Basics always remain the same. The Fountain Head and the Atlas Shrugged were powerful books. In 70s I used to think if I visit US, one person I would like to meet is Ayn Rand 😊

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      18. Oh come on my young friend. Being wise doesn’t mean being old 😊
        There is nothing like being a child 😊
        The trick in life is: Remain childlike but not childish

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  3. “I have come to realize that both of these are so intertwined. If taking care of yourself is selfish, be unapologetic-ally selfish. It is your biggest responsibility to care for your physical and mental health. When you see that your own life is meaningful, worth living for, you can value the lives of others. In order to help the world, help yourself first. In order to understand the world, understand yourself first – not an easy task by any means.”

    Great quote and very very true. I preach the same thing. I was always raised to be selfless only and it nearly destroyed me.

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